11th day of Working from Home. This new way of working begins to drive me nuts. My mood swings from left to right to left to right again just like kids playing swing at the park. The worst part of all this is when WFH wasn’t implemented yet, I had someone I can talk to directly who was hardly given me any advice, but was always able to smack me with questions that made me realise he’s right. I have my team who always had my back, and I have theirs, and from time to time drive me nuts. Not to mention the others whose noise and camaraderie made the office alive. Now with this thing happening, everyone is facing the same situation, not to mention the Business Continuity Plan (BCP) monitoring, adjustments and contingencies just in case this very place has to be locked down.

The company had urged HR, which is my role in this company I work for, to put in place an Employee Assistance Program (EAP). So we’re in the process of putting it in place. I will definitely be among the first to use this service.

I asked myself this question constantly, why have I reached this state of mind? In a conversation I had with myself (you see… the frequency of me talking to myself had increased significantly now) I found out that the inability to control certainty leads me to this. My life in the past couple of years was far from being normal. But the past 6 months I began to experience normalcy and so I feel I was in control of my life already. It is the inability to control the situation and give a sense of certainty to myself what really drives me nuts. I do not know when this WFH will end. It is as if I cannot see the light at the end of the tunnel. I feel like walking in a completely dark room and I don’t know where the door is. And the worst part of it all, I feel I am going through this on my own.

Why do I feel so gloomy and hopeless? The answer is simple. Every morning, I left my house and stop by a coffee shop to have my Picollo and butter croissant before going to work. At work, despite how crazy my schedule can sometimes be, I was always surrounded by people that I can interact with, my team and everybody else. Then I go home with a dear friend of mine. It’s good to have a companion because I enjoy the company, the jokes and the discussion en route to the street near my house where I got dropped off. Then at home, I would chat with the girls. That was my beginning to get normal life and now that beginning to be normal life is gone because of COVID bloody 19!

I refuse to be defeated by the impact of COVID bloody 19! I then made it my mission to win just for a day, at least. I need to interact and talk to people. One because I also care about the employees, especially those who still have to mind the fort, and two because I need to make sure my mental health doesn’t sky dive without a parachute. So I started calling some people, the office boys and some employees. Little did I know their mental health began to diminish just like mine and having a little laugh over the phone apparently help us to put it back together. I am not alone after all. Damn you COVID 19. Damn you prolongated work from home! But today, just before going to bed, I defeated both of you!

Diary of WFH Day 11

Gita Djambek

Diruanghati.com is a co-blogging between my daughter, Aya and myself. This is where we share our thoughts about each other's thoughts as well as our individual thoughts. We hope readers can be entertained as well as gaining insights from us.

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